Connecting in relationships can be complicated - it is just the nature of intimacy.

Nervous systems are wired for social connection, so when we connect with other people, we are either actively co-escalating or co-regulating.

Co-escalation is where one person’s nervous system negatively influences another’s, creating ripples of discomfort and dissatisfaction. It’s a situation where two or more people amplify each other's dysregulation, leading to a cycle of heightened emotional and physiological arousal. This can manifest as increased anxiety, anger, or other strong emotions in both individuals. When repeated over time, couples who often co-escalate may experience different forms of relationship challenges, including:

• Communication problems

• Feeling misunderstood or ignored

• Anxious or avoidant attachment

• Appeasing or competing behaviors

• Frequent or intense arguments

• Emotional distance

• Uncertainty about compatibility

• Loss of physical touch and sexual intimacy 

• Trust issues

• Infidelity and deception

• Parenting challenges

• Mental health issues

Co-regulation for couples is the process where partners influence and support each other’s emotional and physiological states, creating a shared sense of safety and calm. Effectively, one person's nervous system positively influences another's, helping them to regulate their emotions, thoughts, body sensations, and behaviors. It involves a supportive, responsive interaction, often rooted in loving-kindness, where the partner who is more grounded in the present moment helps the other person manage stress, return to a calm state, and develop self-regulation skills. Through the act of receiving and giving, co-regulation is a mutual exchange of comfort, understanding, and support, helping each person to feel calmer in the presence of their partner.

Co-regulation is a personal process, and it can look very different for each couple. Some actions to support co-regulating in the moment may include: breathing together, loving physical touch, active or reflective listening, shared mindfulness, eye contact, conscious distance, spending time together in nature, shifting physical / emotional states through movement, dancing or laughter, and energetic grounding rituals. Co-regulation is fundamental in couples counseling and can help couples to experience:

• Reduced stress

• Stronger emotional bond

• Feeling more trusting and joyful 

• Secure attachment

• More fulfilling sexual experiences

• Affection that feels natural and easy

• Improved communication

• Relationship satisfaction

• Shared values and sense of meaning

• Collaborative conflict resolution

• Resilience through life transitions

Eco-art psychotherapy can help couples understand the root of disconnection and dissatisfaction so you can effectively co-create positive change in your relationship. This approach is rooted in a scientific and spiritual understanding of intimacy and true friendship. Research shows that 70-90% of couples who seek counseling find therapy beneficial, and can significantly improve the quality and longevity of their relationship. Studies also show that the most significant factor in therapy being successful is the relationship you have with your therapist. 

Every couple is navigating both dissonance and harmony. There is no one right way to be in a relationship. Wild Embrace Healing provides a loving and compassionate space for couples to explore new patterns of connecting and to experience liberation through love.